Make-up of a gala table.

This past week I sat on a career panel. The audience was a mix of college-bound seniors and college freshman, all considered "at-risk" given their backgrounds and family income levels. That stage where you have your entire life ahead of you, but have so many questions.

The career panel was a melting pot. Just like New York City. 

I felt it was important to stress two things. 

Never judge those at your table - perceived impressions are very dangerous. You never know who is sitting beside you, their ability to impact your career or desire to help you along your journey. Treat everyone as an equal, with respect, and truly listen to what they have to say. Inevitably, at some point in your journey, you will be overlooked, ignored, snubbed. Hold on to that experience and let it shape how you treat others in a positive way. 

Never be afraid to share your story. We all have stories, filled with sadness, happiness and those in-between moments that fill our days. Our stories are rich, diverse and make us who we are, no matter the details or what life has handed, or even thrown at us. Your story does not disappear when you begin your career or begin your day, and that's a good thing. It's up to you to choose how you tell your story and how you let it shape you. 

Fast forward 36 hours. 

I'm attending a gala, a lovely evening in the city. The elegant hotel on Fifth Ave. has managed to squeeze in the right amount of people to make it feel like you have arrived at something truly special. And you have, supporting college-bound youth across the five boroughs. 

It's a funny mix. Educators, wealthy, the Mayor and his entourage, corporations, students. 

And I found myself judging. Those perceived impressions hitting my brain rapid-fire. How quickly we forget our own advice… that advice that was given from a place of past experience. 

I was lucky enough to be at the table with the guest of honor. An 18 year old that was highlighted by President Obama during his State of the Union address. He was not and is not afraid to tell his story - to everyone around "those tables"… and it is a rich story, encouraging to others. I also learned other stories that night, why those around those awkward large tables are involved in community efforts. How their past has changed their outlook on the future and why they so badly want to influence and encourage others on that journey. 

We all need reminders. We need to remind others that we are all in this life journey together, on equal footing. And we all stumble… and it's okay to share that with others. In fact, it's needed. 

A lot can happen in 36 hours. 

You can change another person's perspective while being reminded about your own. 

My Day at the United Nations

My Day at the United Nations

The exciting thing about life is that every so often we have days where things just click. You sit back, take a breath and smile at the person next to you because the world we live in, for a very short period, begins to feel like it is on the right track. We are united. And there is so very much to do, but we are doing it.

Couple that with feeling like a giddy tourist in a very “let-me-take-a-million-pictures-right-now” kind of way and you get my day at the United Nations. 

I was so excited to attend the U.S. Chamber of Commerce's International Women's Day Forum (Turning Inspiration Into Action) at the United Nations. Among others, I got to hear Chelsea Clinton speak. I don’t care what political party you reside with, or shall I say hate... It was pretty darn cool hearing someone’s philanthropic heart and work in the advancement of women. And I don’t mean the “ummm no, I can open my own door” kind of “advancement”… I’m talking about the educational platform that is being push world-wide to show that women are not only important for family and community, but that they are strong drivers of economic opportunity.

During one of the breakout sessions I heard a very powerful story that I just have to share. The speaker, a doctor, talked about her time overseas working in a local clinic – a clinic that was too often under-staffed and equipped… causing people to lose their lives not because the knowledge was not present, but because the resources were not available. Basic medical supplies and equipment. Isn’t that horrible?

As you can imagine, women’s health (education, preventative medication, contraceptives, family planning) have taken a backseat. Scratch that, they aren’t even in the car.

One of the women in this town had a very difficult third pregnancy and almost died. When she became pregnant with her fourth child, she was told that she had one foot in the grave and unless she was able to go to the “better hospital”, she would likely lose her life. Which translates to a money game. Living in a patriarchal society, her father-in-law controlled the family business, the little money they had and the decisions. After much discussion, the father-in-law explained to the doctor that paying for his daughter-in-law to be sent to the “better hospital” was not a wise investment for the family. Investment. He said that if he sent her to the hospital he could not justify the ripple effects. “What if a higher-ranked family member became sick, what if the family business went under?”

By not choosing this “investment”… here is what happens:

The mother dies.
The third child now only has a 60% chance of surviving without the mother in the picture.
The husband has a mental breakdown, can no longer care for the children nor report to work.
The family business goes under.  
The oldest child is unable to pursue an education because she must care for the younger two children.
The remaining family members have to pull together resources to support this family – while dealing with losses from the family business…

When we don’t invest in women the ripple effects are wide. God created men and women to fit together in perfect harmony. We compliment each other – our strengths and weakness are intentional. By not investing in women, by not giving women a choice, by not ensuring women have educational opportunities… we throw off the intentional equilibrium.

Happy International Women's Day!

View from the front door of the UN!

At the UN

Turning Inspiration Into Action

Chelsea Clinton speaking about the Clinton Foundation's work.

UN

"Honestly, I wanna see you be brave…"

My heart broke a little bit 2 Sundays ago.

Our church is a supporter of Love 146. Their mission is simple, yet complicated and hard. It is to end child trafficking and exploitation.

Isn't that sad? Sad that we have to have mission statements that include child trafficking and exploitation…

A reminder of just how broken our world truly is.

We all sat there on Sunday morning, with tears streaming down our face watching a video filled with horrible, horrible details on a childhood that really wasn't a childhood. But through the ugly, sad and unbearable we were reminded of the power of mercy and justice.

Sunday was a reminder about compassion. About going where it hurts to mourn with those that are lonely, to become weak with those that are weak and powerless.  To become fully immersed in the problems of this world so that compassion creates change.

"…show kindness and mercy to one another, do not oppress the widow, the fatherless, the sojourner, or the poor, and let none of you devise evil against another in your heart." Zechariah 7:8-10

Love these lyrics… 

SARA BAREILLES LYRICS

"Brave"

You can be amazing

You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug

You can be the outcast

Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love

Or you can start speaking up

Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do

When they settle ‘neath your skin

Kept on the inside and no sunlight

Sometimes a shadow wins

But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I wanna see you be brave

Everybody’s been there,

Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy

Fallen for the fear

And done some disappearing,

Bow down to the mighty

Don’t run, just stop holding your tongue

Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live

Maybe one of these days you can let the light in

Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

And since your history of silence

Won’t do you any good,

Did you think it would?

Let your words be anything but empty

Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

See you be brave

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

Habitat for Humanity - Staten Island

Reflecting back on 2013 memories… 

Over the summer we had the opportunity to join Hope for New York and Habitat for Humanity on Staten Island for a home build. I'll be honest with you, I had no desire to build any part of a house. I've coordinated house builds before for volunteer groups but never participated in one. The thought has always freaked me out. I've had kitchen fires, spilled a paint can in our kitchen and Richard's car, and I'm not one for patience or measuring... so we usually have extra holes in our walls and I never use paint tape. I know. 

But I went and...

Loved the team building and sense of accomplishment.

Saw for myself just how bad off areas still are and how they have not returned to normal. 

Proved to myself that I could do a home building project. 

Became delirious and laughed a lot. 

Prayed for the community and the recovery. 

I'm glad I went. I've said before that defining your volunteer journey can be tricky. And it is. But I'm glad I stepped outside of my comfort zone. 

No Shave November.

This has become a theme in our household. The dreaded anticipated No. Shave. November.

Thanks to Richard's job (and their crazy competitions)… he has carried on this tradition for a few years now. Last year, he became Abraham Lincoln. Yeah, that happened.

This year though, we wanted to understand a little more behind the whole phenomenon. So we took to extensive research… also known as "the google".

Here's what we found:

No Shave November – Not just mustaches and not even just beards; women can even elect to not shave their legs! Oh my!

The idea is to forgo shaving (and therefore not purchase your typical allotment of shaving supplies for the month of November), and donate the money you save to cancer research.  It's celebrating the ability to grow hair (something some cancer patients aren't able to do) while also saving money to donate to research.

All "bearded-up" the night before the Macy's Day Parade -
seeing the balloons on the Upper West Side

We were also curious about this:

Movember – grow a mustache to "change the face of men's health awareness"

People can grow a mustache and also donate to research for various men's health research causes (like prostate cancer research)

Pretty cool concept, right? Since Richard's beard was in line with No Shave November, we donated to the American Cancer Society. Check out their portal, it's pretty neat. 

Just wait though. Richard's job doesn't hold their annual competition until February. So I'm sure he still has plans…even though I talked him into shaving at the end of November. I just know that it will return. In the meantime, here is what I had to put up with. :)

He thought he'd have some fun shaving…
he then had to keep a straight face every time he interacted with anyone that day!

Sweet potatoes or yams?

Sweet potatoes or yams? Is there a difference? 

That's what everyone kept asking while we were busy attacking those little suckers with potato peelers. 

An hour later we had buckets, upon buckets. 9,000 meals were to be served that week. 

Last year, we had a great experience volunteering at The Bowery Mission during Thanksgiving week. We quickly signed up again when the email came through. That night, it was in the 20's. Absolutely freezing. Not surprising, neither of us felt like going anymore… we just wanted to bundle on the couch and watch a movie.

But we went. 

I was a little annoyed once we arrived and there were a million volunteers. Too many volunteers. I understand this struggle all too well from my nonprofit days. To turn down a volunteer can feel like pushing someone off a mountain, a mountain that so desperately needs people climbing up it, quickly and well prepared. I was even more annoyed when I realized that 3/4 of the volunteer group was there from a prestigious New York school. I thought to myself, "oh great, rich kids…what fun…". 

What is wrong with me?  

The volunteer group was nice and filled with people wanting to help. Even if their perspective on the world was different than mine, they were there. And for all I know, the person next to me was judging me for something. And I was just there too, trying to help. 

As men and women flowed in from the streets looking for a warm place and hot meal, we marched out one by one providing that momentary comfort. A simple meal with a smile and acknowledgment. Something we receive three times a day, if not more. 

I saw a man steal a food tray and dump leftovers in his bag, quickly and unashamed. Another man was so drunk that he could barely sit up at the table. I watched as a food delivery guy came in, ate his meal in silence and then slipped out the door. That could have been the same guy that delivered our food to our apartment last week. I received a special request from a guy for a plate with no meat. You see, being a vegetarian, he was concerned that meat might go to waste. He didn't want someone else to go without. 

I understand that homelessness is a vicious cycle - a cycle typically filled and fueled by abuse, addiction and poverty. I understand that many times, an individual becomes homeless by the choices they make in life, repeated choices. I get that because it hits very close to home for me. It frustrating, sad, maddening. 

But what I will always go back to is this… 

Leviticus 25:35-36

“If your brother becomes poor and cannot maintain himself with you, you shall support him as though he were a stranger and a sojourner, and he shall live with you. Take no interest from him or profit, but fear your God, that your brother may live beside you.

Isaiah 58:7

“Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?”

Luke 14:13-14

“But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.”

Oh yeah, sweet potatoes and yams really are different. But I still can't tell you the difference. However, I can tell you that I am glad we went. Once again, our hearts and minds were changed, imprinted. Our hearts were filled with gratitude for the lives we live. We were reminded that it only takes one day, one moment in time, for the life we cherish to forever change.