I've known it was coming for about two years now. But that type of knowing that goes by slowly and is blurry. The type of knowing that isn't always linear.
I thought I was prepared for it, that it would feel like the expected time.
But it was hard. It is hard, really hard. And I couldn't place my finger on the why.
Finally. Finally. Finally. It hit me… I lost someone that advocated for me no matter what. I didn't have to fight for this advocate, or ask… it was just given to me. And I needed it. We all need advocates.
I hope that I am that type of unconditional advocate to others in my life.
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My final words read at the funeral…
Growing up, I have to say that I most definitely had the
strangest name for a grandparent in my circle of friends. When I was little, I
couldn’t quite pronounce a traditional grandparent name…and I’m certainly an
impatient person who likes to be ‘on the go’… so I’d say “Gi”… as in some form
of grandmother…coupled with “Go”.. because, you know, let’s get the show on the
road.
So let’s talk about Gigo.
She taught me how to make KRAFT mac-n-cheese. A skill that I
would lean on all too heavily throughout college…
When I would share typical girl frustrations, she always
reinforced that I was the prettiest girl in school. Even if the conversation
was about, well, math class…
As for fashion, she reinforced all my outfit choices. And
I’ll never forget how she somehow made, what I still swear by, a bib seem like
the most fashionable thing on the market. I assure you, it was not…
Once I started my career in the nonprofit world, she would
listen for hours upon end about projects I was working on, causes I was
fighting for... and she always ended the conversation by telling me how proud
she was of me…and that she couldn’t believe I was working for… free! Even
though I assured her over and over again that nonprofits still paid people. Ha!
She took an instant liking to Richard, my now husband, since
he was a Tony Romo fan.
And when Richard and I moved to New York City, she would
call me on a routine basis to let me know that she was watching ‘The View’ and
looking for me in the crowd. Also, to let Richard know that he needed to keep
me safe on those dangerous subways…
The best part about grandmothers and gigos are the memories
that will always stay with you. It’s the pictures, silly sayings, difficult
times and bonds that grow out of love. These are things we all will miss, but
will forever hold in our hearts.
I know Gigo will continue cheering us all on, and the
Cowboys of course, from Heaven.
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